these photos are not for someone else

 This week’s blog covers a subject that I’m obsessively passionate about. I know it’s tempting to want a beauty photography session as a gift for your significant other. But, I beg you, don’t let that be your reason.

A while back, I gave you five reasons you should do a beauty photography session. One of those reasons was that it’s a gift…to yourself. A beauty session as a gift or surprise for others should be a fun by-product of your experience, NOT the main reason you come to my studio.

Here’s how I see it. If you just want sexy pictures of yourself to give to your significant other for Valentine’s Day, their birthday, your anniversary, or a random Tuesday, a beauty session isn’t a good investment of your time and money.

I have photographed hundreds of women in Dream Sessions and Dream Couture sessions. I’ve seen the occasional outcome that my beautiful clients sometime see when they do their session for someone else.

I’ve seen women go through break-ups or separations and then decide to cancel their session. Or, they may still go through with their session, but only so they can have “revenge photos.” Listen, these photos are to show YOU how strong and beautiful you are.  Not used as a way to flaunt them to someone who hurt you.

I’ve had clients who felt that their relationship was in trouble. So, they wanted to do a session as a last ditch effort to save it. I can really empathize with this, but I urge you to not let this be your main motivation either. 

Side note—I have seen some women who felt so self-conscious and critical of their bodies. So much so that it caused a negative impact on their relationship or marriage. These women chose to do a session to step outside their comfort zone and see their true beauty through boudoir photography. Consequently, they took that new-found confidence back home and worked toward healing their self-image and relationship.

I’m not at all saying this would be your experience. But, I have had clients who surprised their significant other with their photos and they weren’t received well, for a number of different reasons. I’ve talked before about the investment of a beauty session. Some people haven’t been happy about the money that was spent, or felt that the photos were pointless since, in an intimate relationship, they “could see you in lingerie anytime” they wanted.

I see it this way—taking these photos for your loved one is level one of ten reasons you should do a session. I actually had my own session done a couple years ago, and only told my husband about it an entire year later because he encouraged me to do one as a way to deepen my empathy for my clients (I’ll write more about this in the coming weeks). It felt so empowering to do my session as a gift for myself. I only showed him the photos when he happened to bring it up way after the fact.

I honestly don’t intend this blog post to sound doom-and-gloom. My client’s satisfaction and happiness with their session and photos is a top priority for me. I’ve been in business long enough to see all kinds of scenarios play out, and my best advice is to do a session for YOU, and anything related to your spouse or significant other is simply a by-product of the experience.